Apparently, (Unbeknownst to Me) I…am a ‘Kittle Cattle’ Author

I’m sorry to come back with a ‘rant’ after being gone for so long, but hey….I like doing things with a bang. I got my Kittle Cattle panties on, too! I know most of you didn’t sign on for a rant-y blog, but if you will bear with me, there WILL be chickens today.  I don’t know why some of you have stayed with the ride here for so long…but thank you. I appreciate you.

The person who inspired this particular rant is probably not even reading here, so the rest of you can stop holding your breath, grab your coffee and donuts, and settle in. It ain’t over till the chickens show up.

In my very own Kittle Cattle opinion, I think that some people jump to conclusions and judgments about other people based on their own worldview and what is in their own hearts. One of my favorite sayings is that if you point the finger at someone else, you have three fingers pointing backatcha. The translation- is that you are just as bad as the person you are hating on, and you are most likely a hypocrite and are doing the same thing you are accusing the other person of doing…and you don’t even know it! Most people are a little self-righteous that way.

This is part of the reason I need to ‘disappear’ sometimes…from my blogs, from email communications, from the phone, from social gatherings. I just can’t stand the drama! I have no patience for people who want to ‘bitch slap’ me for being ME. Do you think your own poop doesn’t stink? Why yes, yes it does…but some of us don’t feel the need to shove it in your face, as you are wont to do to others.

Why can’t people concentrate on what is good in the world and the good in people, instead of trying to find all that is wrong? If you will allow me to step into the poop and put my hypocrite on…

I HATE:

Injustice

Discord

Hypocrisy

Gossip

Judgment

If it gets too thick, I just need to remove myself from it. Really…I have to go.

Dear Lord, if I am this way, if I am a hypocrite, please remove it far from me. Let me see clearly. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Clean up those things in me which YOU find to be detestable and unacceptable…and fill me with patience, which I admittedly, do not have. Make me into the kind of person you want me to be.

That right there is where my heart is at, people. Plain and simple. If you don’t know this, you don’t know me. You are spewing hateful accusations that are borne out of the whited sepulcher of your own heart.

Someone (who doesn’t know me well) approached me for advice about hiking. After having spent hours composing email answers in order to help her, she then had the nerve to accused me of being a ‘Kittle-Cattle’ Author…and admonished me about ‘creating airs for myself…it’s so unnecessary and unbecoming…”

I’ll be honest…I had to look up ‘Kittle-Cattle’. It means touchy, unpredictable, difficult to deal with. Oh…REALLY!?

What the heck?

Well BIG Whoopedeedoo!

Bingy-Bongy-Boo, Man!

No one made you read my stuff, lady. You asked for it! I didn’t HAVE to help you, Sistah, with my Kittle Cattle Author-ization. I did it out of the goodness of my Kittle Cattle heart!

Exxxcuuuuuuuse Meeeeee! (Conjuring my best Steve Martin, there.)

(OOPS! Pardon Moi! I just Kittle Cattled a little bit there…)What a hypocrite I am! Rescue me, Lord, from this body of death! Wretched sinner that I am. I guess I’m going to hell. All because I told this person that I wasn’t going to answer a personal health related question about a mutual friend of ours. No reason for the personal assault on my writing abilities, Lady. Gee. Apparently, I don’t just Kittle Cattle… I…am…a KITTLE CATTLE AUTHOR! Someone please kill me and put me out of my misery!!!

Anyway…I’ve been doing creative writing exercises, and I wanted to share a poem with you today. Maybe I should give it the privilege of its own post so as not to mar it with the ugliness of a Kittle Cattle rant.

STAY TUNED for my Kittle Cattle Poem soon to be forthcoming. (Sorry, I might have been on the verge of putting on airs with that last sentence.) I guess I am hopeless and destined to be ‘unbecoming’.

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